Excerpt Reprinted with permission from “Female Nomad and Friends” by Rita Golden Gelman. Copyright © 2010. Published by Three Rivers Press/Crown Publishers, a division of Random House, Inc. BUY IT HERE

Being a part of Servas is like having family all over the world. It’s actually better than family. People join Servas because they want you to visit them when you are in their country. Not always the case with family.

interview. Servas charges a small annual membership fee, and travelers pay a deposit for host lists in the countries they want to visit. During the visits, however, no money changes hands.

My first Servas visit was with Gabi and Batsheva in Tel Aviv in 1988. Before the trip, I saw their names in the Israel host book; I wrote asking if I could stay with them when I visited.

They welcomed me as they would an old friend. They fed me, toured me, guided me, and shared their stories as I shared mine. I helped with the cooking and clean- up and bought a meal or a snack here and there.

After only one day we felt so close that we decided their single son, then living in the Dominican Republic, and my single daughter, then living in New York, should marry! Never happened, but we did have fun planning the meeting and discussing the wedding. It was wonderful getting to know them.

Their love for each other made being with them a pleasure. Gabi and Batsheva met in an orphanage. Their parents were killed by the Nazis. During and after the war, the surviving kids were taken from Europe to an orphanage in Palestine.

The two found themselves among the oldest children there and ended up working on the same projects and caring for the younger kids together. They fell in love. Batsheva had a sister, Tova, who was also in the orphanage. I never met Tova, but Gabi and the two sisters shared a special closeness as the only survivors of both families. The sisters meant everything to each other.

As we shared our stories, Gabi, Batsheva, and I developed a special bond. Servas is like that. A level of intimacy is quickly established, and you always leave feeling as though you have made a new friend— or extended your family.

Several years later I returned to Israel for my cousin’s wedding. I called Gabi and Batsheva. Gabi answered the phone. He was excited to hear from me, but he explained that Tova had recently died and Batsheva was devastated. He didn’t think she felt ready for guests. The two women had been incredibly close, he reminded me. I suggested that maybe this time I could take care of Batsheva. They talked it over and decided it was a good idea.

Rita Gelman

I didn’t exactly take care of her, but I did some cooking and a little cleaning; and Batsheva was able to share her happy Tova stories, as well as her pain.

On the second day of my visit, Batsheva received a letter from a Servas friend in Brazil. Claudia had heard about Tova’s death and written a sympathy note. She had included her e- mail address. I offered to write to Claudia on my computer.

In the e- mail I introduced myself to Claudia, and then Batsheva dictated her response while I typed. I left the next day, sad, but pleased that I had been able to help.

Four years later in Argentina, I once again connected with people through Servas. I was staying in my friend Gera’s home in San Miguel, outside of Buenos Aires, so I didn’t need a place to stay, but I wanted to meet people in Buenos Aires. I took out my host list and called a few people. The response was fantastic. Servas members invited me to share meals, parties, and excursions.

After I had met a number of hosts, they told me that a group of them planned on taking a boat across the river the next Sunday to meet Uruguayan hosts. Would I like to come?

Of course. Our two groups got together in the charming Uruguayan town of Colonia and wandered for a few hours before lunch. Everyone wanted to talk a little to everyone else, so two of us would walk and talk for a while, and then we’d switch. The fi rst two Uruguayans I met insisted that I come back as their Servas guest (which I did). I was able to converse with them in Spanish, although they both spoke better English than I did Spanish.

The third person I met asked me not to speak Spanish. “My Spanish is not very good,” she said. “My English is better.”

“But aren’t you from Uruguay?” I asked.

“No, I’m not. I’m from over the border in Brazil.”

It was at that point that we introduced ourselves. “My name is Rita. I’m from the United States.”

“Oh, my God,” she said. “I can’t believe it. I’m Claudia.”

Yes, she was that Claudia! We hugged like old friends. And cried. And a month later I was a Servas guest in Claudia’s house in Brazil.

If you’re a traveler and a connector, check it out. It’s an amazing organization: www.servas.org or www.usservas.org.

We invite you to join us on the Female Nomad and Friends virtual tour. The full schedule can be seen at. You can learn much more about Rita Golden Gelman and her work on her website.

Venus Adventures is a NZ and Swiss based company which focuses on women travellers.  They can help you organise your own custom trip (mixed or women-only) to Morocco!

If you are thinking of going to Morocco on an exotic holiday, but are not sure what to see and do, just let us know what your interests are and we can put together an itinerary especially for you – whether it be hiking in the mountains, riding camels into the Sahara, cooking classes in Marrakech or indulging in a traditional Moroccan spa treatment – we can tailor make something to suit your budget and needs.

Or if you want to remain flexible, we can put you in touch with our trusted local contact in Marrakech and he can help you with anything you need while in Morocco, from airport transfers to shopping to tours. For more information, please just email us on info@venusadventures.travel.

Or if you would like to join us on a fun, women-only trip to Morocco, our itineraries can be found here:

Here is some feedback from the last trip:

Into the Desert

“I can’t seem to stop thinking of all you guys and Morocco, it was such a fabulous time and I think we had the kind of holiday not that many people get to have, with the adventures and meeting the people.” Angela, NZ

“Thank you for the great tour. My family could hardly believe it when I told them all the things we did, especially the rafting. It was fun unpacking everything and giving out presents. It seems really dull at home now after all the fun we had but I guess the normal round will take over again.” Helen, Australia

She is a certified Outdoors Educator (NOEP5) from the National Outdoor Leadership School (NOLS). Mary also received her wilderness first responder course from NOLS as well.

Mary has an undying commitment to providing exceptional service and quality tour leadership and her company, Standout Adventures, is registered with the Kenya ministry of tourism.

“We stand out from the crowd, not only because we organize your East African adventure to your full satisfaction, but also because 5% of all tour proceeds are donated to Openhand Orphanage.”

“Emirates have released an early bird special for sales in NZ until the 17th of December 2009. For your Morocco trip, a fare ex Auckland would be $2310 including taxes.”

Probably similar deals for Ozzies too …

So what to do now? If you are interested in the Venus Adventures for women 18 day Morocco trip starting 2 April 2010, please let me know asap so we can get you booked and looking forward to an exotic holiday. The sooner I know numbers, the better, so I can get info out to everyone.

Morocco is fabulous – I have did it last year and it is fabulously memorable -  from the food, to the shopping, to the Sahara, the Atlas mountains, the people and the old cities of Marrakech and Fes!

Just do it….

Salam from Morocco!

Well, we have just completed another 14-day extravaganza of Morocco and thought you might enjoy a few photos!

Highlights of the trip were riding camels across the orange dunes of the Sahara whilst the sun set in the distance and then sleeping under an African sky, hiking up into the Atlas mountains to stay in the basic home of a Berber family and see how they live, experiencing the old medinas of Fez and Marrakech, meeting lots of friendly locals including Nezha who is a Moroccan 5W member (5W = Women Welcome Women Worldwide, an international hosting network) who lives in Fez and joined us for dinner one night. It was great to meet Nezha, who is an English teacher at the American school in Fez, and to learn more about Moroccan life from her.

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The Morocco trip is all about experiencing the variety of local cultures from the desert tuaregs to the mountain Berbers, having some great little adventures (hiking, riding camels) and of course lots of fun! In Morocco “fun” for my Venus girls usually involves spending every free minute in the souq (market) haggling for beautiful handmade exotic goodies – no one seems to have any trouble finding their “inner shopaholic” in Morocco, because the shopping is so irresistible! You can see them in the pictures wearing beautiful caftans, jewellery etc. below.

The over-stimulation caused by shopping/sightseeing was always balanced with pre-dinner drinks at “gin o’clock”, where we would get together and recount tales of the days events and haggling experiences, and show-off new purchases.

We also celebrated a 50th birthday on the trip, with dinner at our Moroccan guides house and live Berber music and dancing– great fun!

XMAS SHOPPING TRIPS TO MARRAKECH

In response to the demand to shop, if anyone is interested in a 5 day Christmas shopping spree trip to Marrakech and Essaouira, we are offering the following programme. You choose the dates, we arrange all the rest . Price is Euro 500 per person and includes everything (hotels, transport, meals, shopping guide etc) all you need to pay for in addition is your flight, travel insurance and shopping), and the trip will run with a minimum of 2 people.  Contact Julie for more info

I got sent this advice from a travel company in Morocco, having been there, I thought most of it made a lot of sense.  Source of Advice

My recommendation would be to join a small group tour – the best way to explore, be safe and have fun.  Check out this calendar for tours for women to Morocco

In Morocco, male/female relationships are patterned differently than in western countries because gender roles are much more fixed. Family is the center of life in Morocco therefore it is not surprising that each sex has expectations that tie-in with raising children.

Females in Morocco are not discriminated against, however, upon reaching puberty (especially in small cities and villages) they are often separated with the intention of making sure that they stay virginal and to better prepare them for motherhood. In Morocco, getting married is considered one of the most important times in a woman’s life.

As a tourist, it’s important to maintain sensitivity to the differences between men and women. Public displays of affection are a taboo between men and woman. Kissing in public for example, should not be done. Couples you may see in the street walking near to each other or holding hand are typically married or possibly engaged in prostitution. While platonic friendships do exist between males and females, they are less common than in western countries. Since Morocco is a country that has had foreigners living among them for hundreds of years it is common to find less traditional differences between men and women in the larger cities such as Marrakesh and Casablanca. Still, as a traditional Muslim nation there are old fashioned and traditional values that must be respected.

Women in Morocco are stereotypically expected to take care of the home and family, engaging in activities such as cooking, cleaning, shopping, weaving, caring for the elderly and educating the children while the man is away at work. In their free time, women meet other societal expectations of visiting family, friends and attending evening prayer services at the local mosque or shrine. These roles also apply to women in the countryside, where agricultural duties are shared with their husbands. However in the countryside where you find Berber villages it is the women who often run the households and spend most of their time doing the agricultural work.

As a result of Morocco’s culture and traditions, women do not often accompany their husbands on social outings. With the exception of modern cities such as Casablanca and Marrakesh, it is not likely to see a co-ed group of Moroccans mingling in a local cafe or bar. In fact, female tourists withstanding, cafes and bars are traditionally limited to males.

In more traditional areas of the country and in some of the larger cities, women are also not supposed to smoke, travel alone or without parental consent, or be unaccompanied late at night.

Much of this is gradually changing as foreigners continue to make their lives in Morocco. Morocco is the home to a large population of British and French families along with many American, Germany and Spanish. As a result of foreigners relocating to make Morocco their permanent and others purchasing property for vacation homes or building riads, Morocco has become increasingly open.

Considering Morocco’s history, its occupation by the French and Portuguese, the country has become a melange of the novella (new) and the old. European contemporary influences on Moroccan traditional architecture, cuisine, fashion, film, music and decoration are leading the way to a new Morocco! The combination of these factors and increased tourism to this wonderful country has created a new world view which has been coined a Moroccocracy. By definition a Moroccacracy is the description of a 21st Century Morocco that has risen to take on democratic ideologies in its social and political culture and opened the door for a larger conversation with its European neighbors and American friends.

For the most part Moroccans are incredibly open-minded, especially in cities where tourism is common (Marrakesh, Casablanca, Fes, Essouaria, Rabat, Meknes, and Ouarzazate) and you will find it quite easy to have conversations with locals (in souks and hotels) about world politics, the cultural and historical traditions of Morocco and the economy. Moroccans who work in the tourism industry and in the souks tend to be multi-lingual and up to date on world politics. If you are a person who enjoys conversation during your travels you will find the opportunity to discuss many things within the souks and markets while you are shopping and being offered the traditional hospitality of mint tea.

If you are a female traveller in Morocco there is little to worry about as long as you maintain respectful dress and carry yourself appropriately, not making eye contact with men. The popularity of tourism caused the Moroccan economy undergo a process of liberalization and modernization, consequently altering some societal values. Today, Moroccan women are taking more active roles in the government, law, medicine warfare, and trade. There is also an increase in university enrolment among the younger generation, ultimately, leading to a more open-minded youth and a greater tolerance for modern ideas and western influences. Consequently, Moroccans are getting more used to seeing females (particularly tourists) visiting cafes and other places that were in the past were primarily frequented by men.

Tips for Female Travelers

• Don’t react to catcalls, whistles, or anything else directed at you.
• Wear sunglasses to avoid direct eye contact with men when travelling during summer months.
• Dress conservatively, no mini skirts, shorts, tank tops or tight shirts.
• Enjoy the culture by becoming a participant and dress in a Caftan or Jellabah (the traditional robe worn by local women).
• Don’t go out on your own at night if you are not in a major city or area that is well lit.
• If asked, let people know you are married and carry a photo of your ‘husband’ with you.
• If you feel you are being harassed or followed, walk into a shop or hotel and ask for help.
• If you are lost ask directions from a woman or family.
• If you feel threatened by someone make a scene by shouting loudly to shame the person.
• If you speak French, Spanish, or Arabic it will make it easier to stand up for yourself if you encounter undesirable behavior.
• If it is possible, travel in a group of women or with a male. While tourists are welcome all over Morocco, Moroccans are still uncomfortable with the idea of a solo female traveler; with the exception of major cities.

Overall, Morocco is an amazing and most hospitable country therefore women travelling alone should not be afraid, just be sensible and cautious.

Gay and Lesbian Travelers

While gay sex is officially illegal in Morocco, it does exist. As a result of Morocco’s traditions and culture to separate males and females, gay sex is not uncommon in Morocco.

However, gay travelers must keep in mind that gay resorts, such as those popular in Tangier and Marrakesh back in the 1950’s are gone. Also, although gay couples can be met throughout Morocco, it is unlikely to see a public display of affectionate gay interaction. In Morocco being gay is considered a social taboo. Yet, if you see two men holding hands, this is probably an indication of their friendship rather than their intimate relations.

If you do want to meet gay men in Morocco, you can do so at Morocco’s gay bars and discos (clubs). The annual Spartacus Gay Guide, available at bookstores in many western countries, indicates how to find gay sources of entertainment in Morocco.

With regards to lesbianism in Morocco, it is highly unlikely to encounter a woman who identifies herself as a lesbian.

Regardless of Morocco’s progressiveness, women are still expected to marry and raise children. The rules dictated by tradition and family for who a woman can choose as her partner is strict. Moroccan women are encouraged and rarely marry outside their faith. In particular, it is forbidden for Berber-Arab women to be married to French, Spanish or Jewish men. While there is definitely exceptions this is the accepted socio-cultural norm of Morocco. On the other hand, men are free to marry anyone they choose. Men in Morocco live a more unstructured life than women.

do these things sound like something you would like to experience? Well, read on, because your prayers have finally been answered!

As busy women we often have a myriad of (often feeble) excuses why we don’t do things for ourselves. But let’s face it: there is never an excuse good enough for not doing something positive for yourself – like taking a well-deserved short break somewhere!

Venus Adventures – Trips for Women – is now offering a range of short breaks within New Zealand (and Europe) for women who, well, just need a break! The breaks include anything from culture to adventures, and are always a lot of fun, and the website is a one-stop shop for short breaks for women.

The idea behind women-only trips is to help women escape their everyday roles and routines as busy mums, wives or workers, and to get away with the girls and have some fun!

“More and more women are realizing the importance of getting away from it all and letting someone else do all the organizing for a change”; says Julie Paterson, founder and owner of Venus Adventures Trips for Women. “Women naturally bond and network easily. Doing a trip which gets you out of your comfort zone a little is easier in a supportive women’s group. It’s a great environment in which to try new things. But, depending on the trip, we also indulge in fun things like spas and a little retail-therapy! Age also doesn’t matter as long as the spirit is there!”

All you have to do is get yourself to the trip starting point and all the rest is taken care of. So what are you waiting for? Your next adventure is just a mouse click away…for more information visit www.shortbreaksforwomen.com.

By Julie Paterson

Venus Adventures – Trips for Women

www.venusadventures.travel

www.shortbreaksforwomen.com

Haggling for rugs

OK, so have found yourself in a fabulous Arab bazaar in some hot, sandy and exotic country. It is a maze of twisting alleyways crammed with people and intriguing shoplets selling bright and alluring handicrafts: colourfully decorated carpets, lamps, clothes, leather and metalware.

Trapped in shopping heaven, you almost pass out with excitement. Sweet, musky incense wafts through the air, and as you saunter along in the heat, handsome swarthy men try to entice you into their shops with cheesey one-liners “Madame, can I ask you something…?”

Shopping in an Arab souq is something you have to be in the mood for. Patience and a sense of humour are a necessity or you won’t last 5 minutes. And if you don’t have your wits about you, you may find yourself limping back to your hotel under the strain of five carpets and no money to finance the rest of your trip…and wondering how that all happened when all you wanted to buy was a scarf. You had only asked out of interest how much that lovely rug was….and before you knew it – you had five!

Golden Rule No. 1: don’t ask how much something is unless you want to buy it. If you do ask, you are entering into a “negotiation”- commonly known as “haggling”. Your lovely salesman will enquire how long you have been in his country to see how green (stupid) you are, suss out how many gold rings you have on, and then name an extortionate price. Your jaw will drop and you will gasp in horror.

Golden Rule No. 2: ask yourself how much you might pay for this item back home, look at the quality, and then remember you are buying it at the source. It has not been imported and you are cutting out several middlemen. Think what you would be prepared to pay, and then name a lower price. Now it is your salesman’s turn to gasp in horror and act insulted. Game on!

Haggling is theatrics, and can be a lot of fun if you are patient. Have a mint tea and get comfortable! You will now negotiate with your man, he will try to force your price up with all sorts of sob stories about how business has been bad, how many kids he has to feed etc. You have to invent some of your own sob stories about how little money you have and you saved all your life to get here….remember, keep it fun and encourage humour!

Golden Rule No. 3: Stick to your guns! The Arab salesman always wants to win this game, even if only by a small amount, but if possible, by a huge amount! If the price gets beyond what you are willing to pay…walk away. Better to walk away than to regret it later. If your price was not fair, he will let you go. If your price was reasonable after all, your charming salesman will most likely come after you (he hates to miss a sale), drag you back to the shop, wrap your exotic treasure into a neat package, and relieve you of your cash.

And this brings me to the most important rule, Golden Rule No. 4: both parties should be happy at the end of the transaction – you should be happy with what you paid and the treasure that you bought, and the salesman should be happy with his sale. And thus you will get the lovely scarf you wanted and not five rugs.

By Julie Paterson

Venus Adventures – Global Trips for Women who Love to Travel

Women Travel for Peace brought five intrepid women to Senegal to work with local farming women. Together we built a well for the women’s farming plot. As a result of our contribution, the local women now have water year-round to farm their crops, and they are able to work a shorter workday. When you work 365 days a year under the African sun, a shorter workday makes a vast difference.

- check it out

I am just back from a quick trip to Germany where I went to meet up with Firew Ayele, our Ethiopian guide. Firew is an intelligent, interesting man, who is passionate about his country and people – it is a privilege to have him on a trip, and anyone who meets and spends time with him is usually deeply impressed.

Anyway, Firew has regular groups from the German YMCA who come over to work on various projects – being such a popular guy, they sponsored him to come visit Germany for 2 weeks. It is Firews first time outside of Ethiopia (besides being captured and imprisoned by Somalians as a child…but that’s another story), so I just couldn’t miss the opportunity to go to Germany and drink a large German beer with him (see photo)

When I met up with him, he had already been in Germany 2 weeks and the Germans had of course been plying him with lots of beer and Wurst (although there was still no sign of a beer pot developing). I asked him what his impressions were…he said when he was staying with a family in a village, there was virtually no one on the streets (all inside watching tv no doubt), it was like a ghost town, which made him quite uneasy (in Ethiopia there are people outside all the time). Also, he went to an outdoors shop to buy some equipment – the assistant spent at least an hour with him showing and comparing different tents etc – he said in Ethiopia they would have just told you to buy something or leave! :-

Ethiopia is a fascinating country with amazing scenery, great food (yes, you may even put on weight whilst there!), fascinating tribes, friendly people, astounding history, and …the best coffee in the world! We hike in the Simien mountains, visit bustling African markets, mingle with the locals, see tribal dances, feed hyenas, visit old castles and monasteries, visit local charities (Fistula Hospital) and lots more….We will be back going back there most likely in October 2010, so let me know if you are interested so I can keep you posted. Link to Venus Adventures.

Final words: To get something you never had, you have to do something you never did.